Eritrea: Tigre’s Traditional Wedding Ceremony and Beyond!

 

The wedding season is upon us once more, filling weekends with joyful ceremonies and the consumption of delicious delicacies alongside harmonious traditions, often with a modern twist.

In many Tigre communities, weddings, and consequently marriage, are based on the mutual needs of both parties, with female consent being paramount. If a man is hesitant to initiate a courtship, his family may step in, presenting him with women they deem suitable to his character. Once he makes his choice, his family, including his paternal and maternal uncles and a few first cousins, accompanied by valuable gifts, visits the woman’s family and respectfully asks for her hand in marriage. Her family responds that they need time to discuss the matter with their daughter and requests another meeting to provide their answer.

The daughter is thoroughly informed about her suitor’s profile and has the absolute right to accept or reject the proposal. This emphasis on female consent is a commendable quality, especially when compared to the historical tradition of devaluing women prevalent in many ethnic groups. While such practices are now largely non-existent, thanks to equal participation in the armed struggle for independence and post-independence government policies, the Tigre people’s early adoption of this civilized approach is admirable.

If the daughter accepts, an engagement party is held, and preparations for the wedding begin. A key preparation is building a shelter (Agnet) for the honeymoon. This structure, built from a bamboo-like tree, has two sections: a living room for entertaining guests and a bedroom. Uniquely, the honeymoon takes place in the wife’s family compound, where her family cares for the newlyweds during this period.

After the honeymoon, the husband returns to his family, leaving his wife once again under the care of her family for a year. During this time, she receives training from her mother on how to be a housekeeper and mother.

Preparations are extensive. House supplies and utilities are traditionally manufactured or hand-sewn, with some of the embroidery done by the wife’s family and friends. The house where she will reside after her husband formally brings her to her parents is called Delalet.

Its roof and side walls are made of Tenkebot, a mat woven from the leaves of the Arekbokobay tree, common in the area. This tree is integral to the Tigre people’s daily life. Its fruit, Akat, is eaten mainly by children and herdsmen. Its long, thin, sturdy leaves are sun-dried and artistically woven into various shapes. For the Delalet, the frame is made from the Arekobkabay tree’s wood and covered with woven mats. Given the abundance of these leaves, the wife’s possessions and household items are lavishly made.

A decoration called Shenekiebay hangs outside the house, indicating that the couple is yet to have children. After the birth of two children, the ornament is removed, and she is considered an esteemed member of society, as motherhood is highly valued in the Tigre culture.

Besides the Shenekiebay, numerous other ornaments with distinct names adorn the walls. Everything inside is for the bride’s use and convenience , from the smallest kitchenware, crop reserves, milk and water containers, and everyday necessities to luxurious items like a traditional sauna bath.

As a wedding gift, the bride’s mother gives her a stone grinder. Traditionally, women are expected to manage the household, while men provide food. The stone grinder has two parts, each with a name: the smaller top stone used for grinding is called mdet, and the larger bottom stone that collects the ground crop is called emanet.

A decorative ornament called meqaal, a wedding gift from the bridesmaids, hangs in the bride’s bedchamber. Her jewelry is kept in a small container called dahba, which the groom is not permitted to open. Her traditional eyeliner container is called makhulet, and her mirror is called meefeyt.

The wooden platter used to serve food is called tisho. The bride’s hair ointment container is also carved from wood. The curtains are made of a special, sparkling fabric that enhances the decorations.

When the groom returns after a year, he must identify his bride from among her veiled friends. This challenging task requires him to touch each woman’s hand and ask if she is his bride. This process can take up to four days. Once he finds his bride, they move into their house together and begin their new life. Interestingly, the bride traditionally does not have her nose pierced until after the birth of her first child.

After the wedding, the bride moves from her mother’s house to her mother-in-law’s house, where everything she needs for her new life is prepared. Often, her in-laws present her with a herd of cattle upon her arrival.

A few days after the wedding, a ceremony similar to the Tigrigna ethnic group’s “Hamawti” takes place. The bride’s mother and female relatives visit her at her mother-in-law’s house, bringing food and traditional beverages. Some consider it a smaller wedding celebration. In the Tigre tradition, this ceremony is held at the bride’s family house. The women gather in front of the house and make a fire to boil a mix of cereals. Once boiled, they add butter, sugar, and honey. This delicacy is shared by all attendees. Afterward, they continue with lunch.

The visitors return home, drumming, singing, and dancing. While this traditional wedding is becoming less common, there is hope that many young people are looking back to their roots and traditional ceremonies.

Distributed by APO Group on behalf of Ministry of Information, Eritrea.