Life coach Patrick De Goede advocates for positive masculinity and mental health awareness    

By Dilia Mazula

In response to a recent call by Gothardt Kasuto, chairperson of the Parliamentary Standing Committee on Gender Equality, Social Development, and Family Affairs, urging men to speak out against gender-based violence, life coach Patrick De Goede has shared valuable insights on embracing positive masculinity and fostering change. In an interview with Future Media News, De Goede addressed various aspects of men’s mental health and societal expectations.  

Namibia faces persistent challenges related to sexual and gender-based violence (GBV), with intimate partner violence being the most prevalent form. De Goede acknowledged this issue, highlighting that men too can be victims of violence in various forms within relationships. He stated, “Masculinity comes with huge responsibility, we’re strong, we’re muscular. We have an inherent capacity for violence, but good men can harness that and make women feel safe.” 

De Goede emphasized the need for men to establish a strong sense of identity and positive masculine values saying: “it’s really important that you know who you are, what you stand for, that you have a really good set of positive masculine values,” he expressed.  

Addressing the prevalent negative narrative surrounding men, De Goede pointed out the unfairness of painting all men negatively. “A lot of the narrative out there is angry, and it’s against men, all men, which is very unfair,” he remarked, advocating for a more balanced and inclusive perspective. 

The life coach highlighted the significance of self-care for men, recommending exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep. “When men treat themselves well as a baseline, they’re far more adept at handling conflict,” De Goede suggested. He further addressed the societal setbacks faced by the Namibian male population, especially young men growing up without positive role models. 

De Goede called upon men to take responsibility for mentoring the next generation. “If you’re a man and if you believe that positive masculinity is a force for good, then you are responsible for the younger men around you,” he stated. He encouraged older men to mentor younger men and urged those seeking positive role models to actively seek them out. 

Acknowledging the challenges men face in expressing emotions, De Goede highlighted the importance of vulnerability. “Men have been told to suck it up… But the truth is that as men, we need to learn to be vulnerable,” he emphasized. Building a small accountability circle and fostering open communication among men were suggested as crucial steps in dealing with emotional struggles. 

De Goede concluded by stressing the need for men to stand up for each other. “We need to help each other, not stand up for each other against somebody else. Men and women can thrive together,” he affirmed. 

In advocating for positive masculinity and mental health awareness, Patrick De Goede’s insights provide a compelling perspective on addressing the challenges faced by men in Namibia. His call for self-reflection, open communication, and mentorship highlights the urgency of collective action to create a healthier and more supportive societal framework for men’s well-being. 

We also reached out to several men to gather insights into their responses when faced with physical or verbal violence from the opposite sex. The perspectives varied, shedding light on the complex dynamics surrounding men’s experiences with GBV. 

Some men revealed that their instinctive response to such situations was to keep to themselves and take a walk. This coping mechanism, often a solitary retreat, was cited as a means to diffuse tension and avoid escalating conflicts. One respondent shared, “I find that taking a moment for myself, going for a walk, helps me collect my thoughts and calm down.” 

Conversely, there were individuals who asserted that no words or actions could diminish their sense of self-worth. “Nothing anyone could say can make me feel less than who I am,” expressed one respondent, highlighting a resilient attitude in the face of verbal aggression. 

However, a contrasting perspective emerged, with one participant suggesting that men, in general, are not as significant victims of violence as women. This viewpoint emphasized that societal focus should prioritize addressing women’s experiences with violence. The respondent stated, “Men are not really big victims than women, so the focus should be more on women.” 

These individual narratives shed light on the importance of recognizing the diversity of men’s experiences and the multifaceted nature of coping mechanisms. As discussions surrounding GBV continue, these insights contribute to a more comprehensive understanding of the challenges men may face and the varied ways they navigate such situations. 

Listen to the interview with Patrick De Goede here: